Notes from the Trenches: 9

One of my favourite things about these Notes from the Trenches posts - aside from the fact that I think a good bit of unfiltered honesty makes all of us feel a little less insane - is that when I look through my last six months of frantic text messages, I can see how much … Continue reading Notes from the Trenches: 9

Notes from the Trenches: 8

Do you know what? My Instagram lies. Well, not totally, not properly...the same way Facebook isn't properly evading corporation tax and I didn't entirely eat an jumbo-bag of Mini Eggs whilst gawping at Tom Hiddlestone on the TV last night. It's just that my Instagram feed shows our best bits, and when it includes our … Continue reading Notes from the Trenches: 8

Notes from the trenches: 7

'You'll miss this when it's gone!' people tell me. I like to remember this when I'm watching the slow seep of faeces under my fingernails, or engaged in a full-body wrestle with a boy and a supermarket trolley ('Bend your legs. BEND THEM. BEND. YOUR. LEGS'). Then I do a hollow laugh, likely as not. … Continue reading Notes from the trenches: 7

Notes from the trenches: 6

Every full-time parent of small children needs a place to vent. Vaguely, you remember a time when you worried about deadlines and MOTs and when to fit in the Tesco shop. You didn't very often worry about faeces. Or facial injuries. Or how to get through the witching hour without throwing your children down a … Continue reading Notes from the trenches: 6

Notes from the trenches: 5

I love reading these 'Twenty-Six Text Messages You Must See Before You Die' listicles. And one of the reasons I love them is that they're proof that people actually send normal text messages to their friends and significant others. They organise social events and discuss dinner. They flirt. They do not, as a general rule, … Continue reading Notes from the trenches: 5

Notes from the trenches: 4

Parenting lesson #45: keep your working spouse in the loop by bombarding them continually with panic-strewn text messages. I'm getting pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. 8 May HENRY FOR CHEFF'S SAKE, GO TO SLEEP. I am writing this to you, so I don't have to say it to him. 12 … Continue reading Notes from the trenches: 4

Notes from the trenches: 3

My frantic text messages to Timothy these days are a little more to do with impending injury and a little less to do with bodily fluids. Which is...nice, I suppose? Still feel bad about that assaulted goat. If you're reading this, Perky, I hope you can sleep at night. 11 Jan So, you know that … Continue reading Notes from the trenches: 3

Here’s everything you need to know about today. In ten words.

This is a post about Twitter. Since all my blog stuff gets pushed to Twitter automatically, will posting a post about Twitter on Twitter actually make the universe implode? Whatevs: my throat glands are the size of horse dung and I can't feel my face. If this is the last thing you read, then at … Continue reading Here’s everything you need to know about today. In ten words.

Notes from the trenches: 2

You know when your husband sends you his PayPal login details and tells you to delete the text message once you've used it, and then you are distracted by a small boy trying to eat a large battery and remember about it three months later? Here are some of the other text messages I found … Continue reading Notes from the trenches: 2

Notes from the trenches

I had to search through five months' worth of text messages to Timothy this morning, looking for some bank account information I'd forgotten. Henry and I have had an interesting five months. 2nd March: Kamikaze baby just took a head-first dive off the sofa. I was on the other side of the room and managed … Continue reading Notes from the trenches