It’s all coming back to me now

11pm. I'm sat in bed next to a baby I will need to wake up soon, eating a boat-sized slice of buttered toast. I don't know of any diet that recommends toast after 10pm, but I am trying to look after myself. And sometimes that looks like going to bed at 8.30, so I get … Continue reading It’s all coming back to me now

Sometimes your newborn feelings are not pretty, and that’s ok

Anyway (she said, mouth full of Easter chocolate), I thought I would let you know that being in the newborn phase for the third time is more complicated than it seems. I really thought that having done this twice before, I’d have it down. That there wouldn’t be anything to be surprised about. And there … Continue reading Sometimes your newborn feelings are not pretty, and that’s ok

The funny old thing about time

Time passes. Everyone told me it would, but of course I didn't believe them. How could I? The space inside a minute with a newborn seems so very long, because you're awake nearly all the minutes there are. And there are some images from the brand-new days of my babies that I can still see with … Continue reading The funny old thing about time

On and off

It's been a little quiet on the blogging front lately. My apologies. I think I've run out of ways to say 'I'm tired', and my beloved thesaurus is in tiny print, so no help there. Some days we do well: Teddy's night-time sleeping intervals inch towards three hours instead of two, we make outdoor plans, … Continue reading On and off

Happy breastfeeding! You’re never leaving.

Just wait for me to adopt a defensive foetal posture before I say this. Ok, I'm ready. I really dislike breastfeeding. Bear with me a minute. I know the benefits. I believe in them. That's why I keep plugging (nippling?) on. But I am not a glorious earth mother overflowing with milk and honey. I … Continue reading Happy breastfeeding! You’re never leaving.

Counting to ten [days]

Number of times I have said the word 'gently': approximately 4500. Number of changed nappies, large and small: 88. Number of hospital check-ups: 3. Number of times hair has been torn out of head in frustration at hospital parking: 3. Number of times Henry had to say 'apples' before I realised he meant 'nipples': 35. … Continue reading Counting to ten [days]

There is a world outside, and it’s got toy cars

I would like to report something momentous: yesterday we all left the house together for an outing, all at once. We only traipsed up and down the stairs to load the car twelve more times than usual. We went to Beale Park, which turned out to be a wonderful destination for crazy-hot weather, a tank … Continue reading There is a world outside, and it’s got toy cars

Arrivals

'Just so you know', I texted Timothy on Sunday afternoon, 'I am definitely baking a cake in swimming hotpants right now. I am a vision.' Sunday was a good day. But not an especially good day to be thirty-seven weeks pregnant. It was hot, and bright, and busy. After three hours of church and an … Continue reading Arrivals

What I Wish I’d Known About Two: How it’s done

I haven't the words. I haven't the words for what two babies feels like so far. I try, and my brain reaches back for more chocolate ice cream, baby smell and fumbly emotional seesawing. Thank goodness for talented people who can express it for me.  It might be crazy hormonal milk-arrival-day talking, but this post … Continue reading What I Wish I’d Known About Two: How it’s done

In the T-Zone

I was thinking today how people have their own baby comfort zones (when's yours?), and how mine's definitely not with actual babies. Oh, I loved every inch of him from the beginning, don't get me wrong. I still squeal over his little newborn outfits and rewatch his three-month videos. But I was deeply, continually anxious … Continue reading In the T-Zone