Nine

A few days into my Grand Experiment with Temporary Diabetes - which sucks, by the way, I mean no one should flirt with diabetes even a little bit because it's scary and tedious and it really sucks - I kept on getting my breakfasts wrong. I already knew that pancakes, waffles, toast or remotely edible … Continue reading Nine

Marriage and the Magic Question: Who’s Doing the Work?

  I sent the text at 6.30, when (according to his schedule) he should've been an hour into his ninety-minute journey home. 'Hey, where are you?' I hate sending that text - the studied casualness of it, the fact that I'm too tired even to put a smiley face on the end. Wherever he is, … Continue reading Marriage and the Magic Question: Who’s Doing the Work?

Ask for what you need; stand up for what you think

'Use your words. I can't understand whining. Tell me what you need. Use your words.' If I had a shiny pound for every time I've said this in the last few years, I'd be running off to purchase the entire stock of Waterstones and a personal Elton John concert. I am not a mind-reader. When … Continue reading Ask for what you need; stand up for what you think

Seven

This guy. It's our seventh anniversary today, and he's about to get back from a week away. When he's gone I feel the lack of him everywhere, from our bed to our dinner table to the text messages I keep having to send because he's not there to tell things to. We will pick him … Continue reading Seven

Flying the flag for date night

Real spouse talk: we find date nights hard these days. Didn't everyone say we would, and didn't we think, all naively, that we'd find a way to work around it? I am in awe of couples who manage to get out once a week or even once a month. Whether you pay someone to come … Continue reading Flying the flag for date night

Six

I remember that time you told me you said 'love is touching souls'. surely you've touched mine 'cause part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time Joni Mitchell Looking at this blog, you'd think Timothy was a supporting player. I don't talk about him directly, much. He wouldn't like … Continue reading Six

To my sons: if I catch you treating a girl like a princess, I will break your kneecaps

My friend Megan Conley was in a library the other week, and overheard a horrific conversation between a couple on a first date. Well. We've all had our share of cringe-worthy first dates, of course (unless you're me, in which case you've had your share of no dates at all). But this one, oh, this … Continue reading To my sons: if I catch you treating a girl like a princess, I will break your kneecaps

The way we work

Henry is experiencing some serious mama-love this month. Phases like that come and go: his heart beats for Daddy, as a rule, but every now and again he just wants to sit by me. I do love it, while it lasts. But it has made me think - more than I was already - about … Continue reading The way we work

Five

Tomorrow is our fifth wedding anniversary, and I have been thinking about phases. *** We are eighteen. It's my first move away from home. I am happy here, in a way I haven't been for a while. We're sat in someone's living room on a Sunday afternoon. He's playing chess, and tries to teach me … Continue reading Five

Socks and skylights: a story about love

For I am in love with you and this is what it is like or what it is like in words. Carol Ann Duffy There was a moment, years ago. Before babies and broken nights, when just living in each other's space, revolving in the same ordinary orbit, neither of us driving home in a … Continue reading Socks and skylights: a story about love