Ooh, October, you’re looking well

I have given myself a towering challenge this evening. Well, two. One is to get rid of today's lone nappies lurking in our house without gagging. I will track each powerful stench to its source like a veritable crap-hound, and throw them into the bin where they belong. The other is to write a blog … Continue reading Ooh, October, you’re looking well

Notes from the trenches: 7

'You'll miss this when it's gone!' people tell me. I like to remember this when I'm watching the slow seep of faeces under my fingernails, or engaged in a full-body wrestle with a boy and a supermarket trolley ('Bend your legs. BEND THEM. BEND. YOUR. LEGS'). Then I do a hollow laugh, likely as not. … Continue reading Notes from the trenches: 7


  This morning Tim left for his week helping at boys' camp. I've been pretty tired lately - due to my absolutely tragic inability to stop faffing and get to bed - so a week of solo parenting these tiny feral creatures wasn't really lighting me up. But we spent half the morning making jokes … Continue reading Laughs

Things I want to remember about mornings

I found this post (and this one) this morning, and they both seem like someone else's life, as usual. Time for another installment.  Dear self, Here are some things you should never forget (even when your eye bags are capacious enough to keep things in): that the whole street knows when Son 2 has woken … Continue reading Things I want to remember about mornings

On ovary-wrestling

I've been struggling a bit with hormone rampages in the last few weeks. It's been hard not to tip myself into sadness or self-flagellation every time my tether's been shorter than I wanted, or I've forgotten to reply to an important message, or walked straight past the reusable shopping bags on my way out to Tesco … Continue reading On ovary-wrestling

Parenting Positions Which I Will Defend Until My Death Bed

It is perfectly OK and not hypocritical for me to give you grapes for dessert, while shoving chocolate brownie into my mouth behind the fridge door. And then to lie when you ask me what I’m eating.   One banana a day is good for you. Two, and I'm pretty sure you could die of … Continue reading Parenting Positions Which I Will Defend Until My Death Bed

Some hopes for Friday

I have just given myself fifteen minutes to write something, while I'm in that part of the day before bed when I decide whether Thursday was a good one or not. Fifteen minutes ain't long, so let's not expect a masterpiece. And yes, I am planning on being in bed by 9.30pm, but you should … Continue reading Some hopes for Friday

Bundle o’ joy

This is a catch-up post about bears. He is sixteen months old, and this is his favourite face. See? As I type he is 'reading' Monkey and Me to himself and dancing with glee. In a moment he will get bored of this and push the book at me, honking like a chip-crazed seagull, until … Continue reading Bundle o’ joy

Three breakfasts

Friday Tim: Do you want any breakfast? Me: [brushes hair] [wangs Henry's shoes over shoulder] [scrubs at Teddy's teeth] [whips open pushchair] No time no time no time [door slam] Saturday Tim: Do you want any breakfast? Me: Ooh, yes please. Toast and a hot drink? Thanks. I'll eat it while I'm drying my hair. [puts plate … Continue reading Three breakfasts

A cure for the Monday blues

  When you release a fourteen-month-old into the wild after a morning of Septemberish errands, he cannot believe his luck, and for the next hour he'll be like OH MY WORD LOLS EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHERE I LOOK. Then after lunch you'll give him a spare grape, and he'll laugh appreciatively, all CLASSIC, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN. … Continue reading A cure for the Monday blues