Steady on guys, this pregnancy is ON A ROLL. I had my first midwife appointment yesterday, which means it’s actually happening. I love this one. No being poked around, just a long list of uncomfortable congenital disease questions. Cannabis smoker? No. Type A diabetes? No. Addicted to antidepressants? No. Afraid in your own home? Now … Continue reading Confessions

A haiku about cravings

Oh beetroot, you rosy plum So vinegary I’ve eaten five today (weird?) other baby posts: 1. - 2. - 3. - 4. - 5. - 6. - 7. - 8. - 9. - 10.

Thank you for the music

To be sung to the tune of ‘Voulez-vous’, by Abba: DEJA-VUUUUUU AHA Retching in the shower! AHA Pot Noodles on the hour! AHA Face on bathroom floor, woohooooooooo! DEJA-VUUUUUU AHA Lime juice by the crate! AHA Henry thinks it’s great AHA That I can’t stop him eating shampooooooo! Or climbing onto our bay windowsill. Or … Continue reading Thank you for the music

Yoghurt-flavoured sadness

I caught another fluey virus this weekend (why?!?), at about the same time as my first-trimester sickness arrived. I can’t work out how much of it is pregnancy (bed=melodramatic) and how much is lurgy (bed=encouraged). Either way, as a combination they are lethal, and infuriating. Yesterday I sat floppily on a sofa all day, trying … Continue reading Yoghurt-flavoured sadness

Enter pirate king Jeffcoat, stage left

You guys, I have a little something to tell you about. It’s been an odd week. Of course, I’ll actually be telling you this in January, when a little something will be a bigger something with a spinal column and phalanges, so for now it’s between me and this Word document. I AM HARBOURING A … Continue reading Enter pirate king Jeffcoat, stage left