Oh, my loves. We’re all going to hell in a handcart, aren’t we? You could’ve been a junior writer in the tenth season of Lost, and you’d have rejected this weekend as a bit far-fetched. The pound gone off a cliff, the prime minister resigned, the opposition imploding, more money wiped from the markets than we would’ve paid in several decades of EU membership, every single ludicrous promise from the Leave side retracted by Friday lunchtime, and openly racist slurs being reported in their hundreds. I don’t know how it looks to you overseas readers but here, oh, we’re in so much pain. I watch the news, and hard, blind pain settles on my chest like a weight. I’ve remembered why grief is so often described as ‘suffocating’ (you’ll know this yourself, of course: everyone has a grief to call their own). It’s because it comes up suddenly from somewhere dark and deep, and presses on you so heavily that you can’t breathe.
We have to keep watching the news, because it won’t help to pretend this isn’t happening. In particular this ugly, ignorant strain of racism we’ve uncovered, this infestation of maggots we exposed when we kicked over the the old wood that hid them, needs stamping into oblivion. We owe them that, all the thousands of people who came here from other places and now prop up our health service, care for our elderly and generally get their hands dirty for our good.
But I am exhausted from rage and despair and fear. And sometimes you need a break from the news, somewhere to crawl into while your heart slows down. Here are three things to watch when Brexit gets a bit much.
Adele setting fire to Glastonbury
It’s a difficult time to be proud of being British, but if anyone’s in our plus column, it’s Adele. Her 90-minute set at Glastonbury was total joy: she brought little girls out of the crowd to take selfies, interrupted herself to tell someone he looked just like Brian Harvey from East 17, and restarted a song after two bars because she wanted to sing it better. She’s like the best friend we all want who also happens to sing gorgeously emotional songs. I watched it this afternoon while working, and felt bathed in chummy solidarity. Make You Feel My Love was the bit where I cried. Where was yours?
It’s on iPlayer, here: Glastonbury part 3, and Adele comes on at about 74 minutes in.
A freaking wonderful documentary about the fall of Anne Boleyn
Give me poorly acted sepia reconstructions in period costume! Give me Fake Henry taking mass in slow motion and looking with dead fish eyes at Fake Anne Boleyn! Give me the Tudor Historians out in force! Alison Weir hates Cromwell with the fire of a thousand suns, so is here as usual going ‘IT WAS HIM, THE SNAKE’. Suzannah Lipscomb dripping with glorious hair and hand gestures. David Starkey rocking tiny yellow spectacles and dropping truth bombs about Henry all over. Hilary Mantel being Hilary Mantel, and the wisest and best creature on this earth. The machinations that went into bringing down Anne Boleyn were diabolical, and I LOVE them. I want to see a remake of the Avengers, only with Tudor historians bursting into buildings to examine old documents. David Starkey drop kicks the librarian while Alison Weir sets fire to Cromwell’s portrait. This treasure is on iPlayer, here.
Kilts and stubbly intrigue in Outlander
I only knew one thing about Outlander before we started watching it on a whim on Friday night: that lots of people were out-of-their-heads obsessed with it. Now that we’re halfway through Season 1, I know why: it’s like X-chromosome crack. The first hour was a bit rambly and confusing, as gutsy nurse Claire and her husband Frank pootle around Inverness after the end of WW2. Then Claire touches some magic standing stones and they catapult her back to the 18th century, as standing stones do, the dogs! Trapped in a Scotland full of tartan, rolled r’s and misogyny, she ends up marrying a Highlander for Reasons. He’s called Jamie, but he might’s well be called This One’s For You, Female Viewers, with his kilt, canny combination of steel and adoration, and pecs that look like two hearty flesh basketballs jostling for position. He is like a tartan-clad puppy in human form. He is the 18th century’s answer to Channing Tatum. Poor old boring Frank wears mustard jumpers, and cannot compete. And then the vistas are sweeping, the relationships are more thoughtful than your average potboiler, and the costumes are gorgeous. There are rather too many histrionic sex scenes for this viewer – Outlander feels about nipples the way it feels about candles and mead: at least one in every other scene – and I spent the series middle with my finger on fast-forward as a result. But what will happen when we get to Culloden, eh? I CANNAE WAIT TO FIND OUT.
Outlander is on Amazon Prime, now, and also on DVD via Amazon.
Keep your chin up, dear ones. I don’t know how this is going to work out, but we’ll make the best of what we’ve got once we know where we’re going. And we’ve still got Adele. Don’t forget Adele.