This is a big deal for him. He doesn't like to paint, or make collages, or do anything that means getting his hands dirty. The other children in the class are painting things for him (seriously. Future mob boss?). I worry a little about where he fits, and what his teachers see in him. I … Continue reading Expansion

Three breakfasts

Friday Tim: Do you want any breakfast? Me: [brushes hair] [wangs Henry's shoes over shoulder] [scrubs at Teddy's teeth] [whips open pushchair] No time no time no time [door slam] Saturday Tim: Do you want any breakfast? Me: Ooh, yes please. Toast and a hot drink? Thanks. I'll eat it while I'm drying my hair. [puts plate … Continue reading Three breakfasts

A baa-somely good day out

I am sometimes guilty of trying to hurry my children into things they're not ready for. (I don't wish to point any fingers but, Roald Dahl Complete Works, I might just be looking at you.) We've visited so many farms and petting zoos since Henry was born, and all with the same result: animal terror, or … Continue reading A baa-somely good day out

Movin’ on out

Hello internet! Hello wider world! Hello, dear blog from which I have been absent a fortnight! I feel like I'm all rusty. Here, someone help me bend sideways. We finally got connected yesterday and, let me tell you, if you ever want to feel the First Worldness of your problems, go without wifi for a … Continue reading Movin’ on out

This is your house now: a tour for the person about to buy my house

I've had this post in my head for months, and months. The thought of writing it kept making me cry at inconvenient points. Now we finally have a fixed move date (in, um, two days), it's probably time to let it out.  Come on in. This is your house now. Here are some stairs. You'd … Continue reading This is your house now: a tour for the person about to buy my house

Dear exercise-haters: you’re doing more than you think

Tim is running a marathon next year. I know, he is p r e t t y intense and very impressive. I have no concept of what running 26.2 miles actually means (since for me it would only mean prolonged but certain asphyxiation) so I will leave the imagining to him. What it means for … Continue reading Dear exercise-haters: you’re doing more than you think

School jumpers

He loves it. He came out on his first morning, beaming. 'How did you do?' I asked. 'QUITE WEEEELL!' he shouted back, arms in a victory V. I see we are raising a classic British child, who uses 'not bad' to mean 'really good' and 'quite well' to mean 'verily, mother, I have had the … Continue reading School jumpers

If Les Miserables was performed by my one-year-old

The struggle is real.  Look down and see the sweepings of the street and eat them they are ambrosia whatever your mother says Tell Her Reverence your story let us see if she's impressed you were splashing in the toilet you have faeces on your vest At the end of the day you'll eat nothing … Continue reading If Les Miserables was performed by my one-year-old

A cure for the Monday blues

  When you release a fourteen-month-old into the wild after a morning of Septemberish errands, he cannot believe his luck, and for the next hour he'll be like OH MY WORD LOLS EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHERE I LOOK. Then after lunch you'll give him a spare grape, and he'll laugh appreciatively, all CLASSIC, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN. … Continue reading A cure for the Monday blues

A science-y kind of birthday

Just a quick one about Henry's birthday, before August is properly over and all my posts turn into meditations on apple crumble. I didn't organise a party this year, because we thought we'd be moving house in the middle of it. Then we weren't moving this month after all (and do not even talk to … Continue reading A science-y kind of birthday