Three breakfasts


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Tim: Do you want any breakfast?
Me: [brushes hair]
[wangs Henry’s shoes over shoulder]
[scrubs at Teddy’s teeth]
[whips open pushchair]
No time no time no time
[door slam]



Tim: Do you want any breakfast?
Me: Ooh, yes please. Toast and a hot drink?
Thanks. I’ll eat it while I’m drying my hair.
[puts plate within easy reach]
What, Teddy? I’m just – just give me a – whattttt?
Come up here, then.
No, that’s my toast.
Alright, just a bit.
Noooo, you got jam on the carpet? Come here. It’s alright. Let’s get a wipe.
[puts uneaten toast on a high shelf, remembers it when running out of the door half an hour later]


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Tim: Do you want any breakfast?
Me: Ooh, yes please. Toast and a hot drink?
Yes, Hen, I can find your carriage.
Teddy, lovey, can we read this book once I’ve finished – ok. Quick then.
You need a wee? Good boy, let’s GO GO GO.
Well done. Let me finish my breakfast, and then I’ll go run your bath.
Are you being kind? HENRY GILES. ARE YOU BEING KIND.
What’s our rule, mm? If Teddy is crying, he…doesn’t like it. That’s right. Now do you have something to say?
Sorry for what?
Ok, great. Let me go and finish my…
[swigs cold hot chocolate]

4 thoughts on “Three breakfasts

    • Haha, I find myself saying this out loud too often! I know I need a bit of time away when I start saying ‘just give me a bit of space, boys, just a bit of space…’ Bless them – it will be over before we know it, and it is wonderful, but SO relentless.

  1. Sounds awfully familiar.
    Tristan: Mmmmmmm!
    Me: No, baby; this is Mummy’s breakfast.
    Tristan: Mmmmmm!
    Me: Alright, just a small piece.
    Ethan: Mummy, you would like to give me a piece of your bagel.
    Me: Just ONE bite.
    Ethan: Mummy, you would like to give me another bite!
    Me: People, this is MY breakfast!
    [Cue same again with my juice…]

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