I came across this post the other day, and felt like I was looking back at long-forgotten country. So here’s a continuation.
Here are some things that you should never forget (even when the skin on the back of your hands has gone baggy)
that you get the first hint of Boy 1 being awake when he thunders like a galloping elephant on the stairs
that Boy 2 is almost always beside you already, fuzzy head jammed into your armpit
that Tim does the breakfast routine unless you really have to – and this is now so ingrained that the other day Henry told you to go back to bed while Daddy made porridge, so SCORE ONE for you
that you get Henry in the bath every day by pretending his pirate bubble bath is talking to him
that your pirate accent is really no better, despite all this practice
that they spend twenty minutes trying to out-splash each other, and as Teddy has been gifted with thighs, he wins
that the real loser is you, since you start every day wet
that Henry will get dressed faster if you pretend you’re both racing cars
that your racing commentator accent is pretty dire as well, and who said parenthood involved so many accents anyway
that you never, ever in your life thought your bed would end up with so much pee in it
that you spend your getting-ready time having conversations with a boy who now likes having his hair combed and putting his socks on and brushing his teeth, so look, my dear, how things change
but that he still likes the taste of your perfume
so maybe they don’t change all that much.
Embrace the soakings, dear self, because they’ll be over before you can blink. And moisturise those hands.