The body that grows

Today I am wearing a hugely oversized Union Jack t-shirt. Under two large hoodies. And with pink fluffy bed socks.

It’s very cold. But it’s also time to buy some proper maternity clothes. Sometimes you have to know when enough is enough.

This is a tricky stage to dress for and, historically, I haven’t done it well. I was so determined to be practical, last time, that I bought a few things when I absolutely had to and rewore them over and over. And this bit in the middle is probably the hardest: no proper bump to fit under maternity clothes, just a lot of extra wobbly flab. When I wear my pre-pregnancy clothes – which is still all I have – it kind of just looks as though I’m trying really hard to reveal the Superman suit underneath.

(Note: ‘Superman suit’ here is not a euphemism. Unless you want it to be.)

My attitude to weight is not terribly well-balanced (is anyone’s?). It seems most people either wish they didn’t have it, or avoid it meticulously and obsessively, or try strenuously to get rid of it. There is a persistent voice in my head that tells me I can’t have anything fatter than no fat at all. I spend so much time during pregnancy and post-birth telling myself to LOVE THE BODY THAT GREW YOU A BABY, STUPID.

While the answer to weight anxiety is healthy perspective and body appreciation, not pretty things, I do find the healthy perspective comes easier when I’ve bothered to wear something I love. So this morning I found some pretty things, and some warm things, which means I can hopefully ditch the saggy t-shirts and grow this baby with a little more panache. And maybe at some point in the years to come, between stretching and unstretching and stretching again, I can learn to appreciate this body for the astonishing, miraculous, selfless thing of wonder it really is.


(You can see some of the stuff I looked at on my one and only Pinterest board, if you’re into that kind of thing. My commentary is fairly profound (‘i really like this’. Whoa, whoa. Someone call Vogue) but I think we could probably all agree just to look at the pictures. Ok? Ok.)


hey, here’s a Pinterest board.

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