Dearest firstborn son,

Thank you SO much for coating your entire bottom half in hellish-smelling, khaki-coloured poop, exactly three-and-a-half minutes before we had to leave the house to catch Daddy’s train. It took the combined efforts of two adults and thirty baby wipes before you were clean enough for the car seat. The bit where you put your foot back in the nappy swamp right at the end was an especially exciting twist.

I have no idea how to deal with babygros that look like you’ve been wearing them while rolling around in a pigsty. But I think a bath may be in order for both of us.

With love,

Your mother.

Terrible things have happened in here.

Post Author: timothyjeffcoat

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Archives

instagrams

  •  Saturday  Weve had one of those onceinabluemoon lifecrashingaroundushellip
  • First time theyve seen proper snow in their memories Magic
  • My parenting style broadly follows the theories of Dr NeverRememberWeatherAppropriateClothingRegardlessOfSeasonhellip
  • Babies grow the laundry mountain waxes and wanes but thathellip
  • Rethinking this high chair position tbh
  • The best present I now have two weeks of utterhellip
  • Why do I feel like this is a photo fromhellip
  • Henry I didnt come straight away because I didnt recognisehellip
  • Five deep breaths in a room with a tiny Christmashellip
%d bloggers like this: