Baby vs Food

Emergency, emergency: I am confined to a three metre radius for the next week or so and need things to do that only require the use of one hand, or preferably none.

Henricus Rex – my entirely beloved, ofttimes smelly, but not nearly fat enough baby – once again bombed the weighing test at the clinic yesterday afternoon. Well, not bombed. He was heavier. We were jolly pleased with it, actually, and gave each other high fives – or at least a high five from my end, although he may just have been trying to hide his face from his public nakedness. But according to the special chart of knowledge, it seems that my attempts to gradually wean him off formula milk weren’t gradual enough.


No one ever tells you about the guilt that sideswipes you when you’re not feeding your baby enough. It is deep and instinctive. You can be as logical or pragmatic or easygoing as you like – most of the time, I’m not massively bothered what he’s eating or where he’s sleeping, so long as he’s doing plenty of both and is happy about it – but every now and again, it sneaks up on you from behind, choking your lungs with Eau de Failure. There’s no need to tell me that it’s ok to feed him formula. I know it’s ok. But I don’t always feel that it’s ok, and that, I can tell you, is properly rubbish.

I’m getting pretty tired of these weighing clinics, incidentally – the dramatic look on the health visitor’s face as she sits you down to tell you that he’s wobbled off his percentile line again – and wish I had a set of scales to weigh him myself. We had a go on the kitchen scales once, but it was too cold on his little bottom and not at all baby-shaped, and he wobbled right off again after marking his territory in the usual fashion.

The end result of all this is that if I’m serious about getting him off the formula – and oh, my bank balance and shrivelled washing-up hands are ever so serious about it – then I need to sit still for a week and feed him every time he squeaks. Turns out he squeaks a lot. I’ve spent just one afternoon so far suffering bed sores and boredom, and need something better to distract me than cheffing Facebook.

Suggested box sets I should rent? Any book recommendations? One-handed card tricks? Please send them – Henry is delicious to look at, but he may not be fifty-six hours’ worth of delicious, and I’m not keen to test it.

Maybe I should get myself a crib mobile.

7 thoughts on “Baby vs Food

  1. An important thing to remember about the charts of *knowledge* – they are based on solely bottle fed babies. Yet they don’t tell you that when you’re breastfeeding and have a weenie one. There are breastfeeding charts available online though.

    The best advice I can give you is to not go to the weigh in clinic so often, if at all. Breast fed babies will almost always be smaller than their formula fed counterparts, and that’s ok. The best way to judge that he’s ok (but what the Health visitors don’t often tell you) is if he’s are happy, doing regular wet nappies, and the less regular gross ones. You’ll know if he’s not well, you can trust your instincts. Also know you’re not alone! all mothers worry about their babies’ weight and it is hard.

    Box sets – Have you heard of Firefly? it’s made by Joss Whedon, it was cancelled after the first season, but worth a watch. Serenity is the follow on film, same characters, same actors, very good. Hope the next few days go well.

  2. Now let me see, health visitors don’t know everything, does she even have children? As for Henry if he was hungry he would let you know. Also if he’s allergic to formula it will go in and then go out and not stop anywhere in the middle.

  3. So, Please try not to beat yourself up! It will get better and he looks like the happiest little chap. Re: suggestions for what to do: Dexter – it’s the future (although best not let baby watch – Ha) and Downton Abbey – it amazing, for books, I would recommend anything by Jane Austen. All I can say is good luck, and please keep us updated! x

  4. I blogged today on the same subject: but from the point of view of a breastfeeding peer supporter. Don’t beat yourself up.

    Here’s 2 links for you: – today’s blog post I wrote – common sense advice from kellymom

    As for TV / books – I thoroughly enjoyed “The Poison Tree” and can second the advice on Downton Abbey.

  5. Thank you SO much for the advice – I went to the breast feeding clinic this morning with a little more confidence, and they were really helpful. They also told me his weight gain for this week was good for a breastfed baby 🙂 Hooray, I will plug onwards – and rent some of your suggested box sets.

  6. Did I ever tell you about my MALE health visitor?! That lasted all of 2 weeks before I decided to totally skip the health visitor business. He told me to clear up the eczma behind Gabbie’s ear by using a hair dryer. Not. On. My. Baby.

    Baaaahh to clinic and health visitors. Sack the lot of them, and go with the breast feeding clinic. Those are magic.

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