Vomitrocious Henry has been fed, bathed and is already on his third vest of the day. He has bad wind, poor love. I take him downstairs and change his horrid mustardy nappy, then feed him. I rest him on my legs to rearrange my t-shirt, and he throws up all over himself, my legs and the sofa.

I mop it up.

I take off his vest and take it upstairs to the laundry. He fills his nappy. I take him downstairs to change it. As soon as the nappy is off, he pees everywhere, including all over his clothes and in his own hair. While I’m scrabbling for something that’s not already soaked to clean him off, he throws up again.

I mop it up.

I put on a new nappy, a new vest and a new babygro (all of his day clothes are now dirty). He throws up again.

I mop it up. I sit down and cry for three minutes (it helps).

I take him to the weighing clinic smelling of sick and with a urine-soaked mullet. I hope the health visitors do not call Social Services as soon I’ve left the building. I get home, feed him, rock him to sleep, put him upstairs and go to the loo. My watch unstraps itself and falls into the (mercifully empty) toilet. Attempts to fish it out with an old toothbrush are unsuccessful. I use my hand.

We decide that that’s enough of Friday for the time being, and go back to bed.

It’s a good job he’s this adorable, frankly.

Rule no. 1: always put him down on a muslin. Or ten.

Post Author: timothyjeffcoat

7 Replies to “An Hour in the Life Of”

  1. Sounds like you could use another adult to tag team on all of the nappy and vest changing. There is light at the end of the tunnel: stay sane. Soon the vomiting and the mustard poo should even out to something more manageable.

  2. Good for you going back to bed, sounds like a no good, rotten day! You deserve some as much sleep as possible anyhow. He really is such a doll, and I am fairly certain the health visitors have seen worse, you are doing fabulous! although you might want to mention the vomiting to the health visitor, I had a friend whose kid seemed to throw up more than normal (although his weight stayed up, she just nursed him a ton, poor thing!) and the found out he had acid reflux. Just a thought, I obviously have no idea, but I am the lady that brings a list to the dr every time I go, I am sure they LOVE me:) PS – saw that you are helping with the RoadShow so soon after the baby? Good Grief you make the rest of us look bad:)

  3. Actually the health visitor did mention reflux as a possibility – we’re seeing the doctor on Monday and I’m just feeding him a lot in the meantime. Bed did seem to be the best solution!
    And I’m not so much helping with the roadshow as I am helping Tim do the roadshow – poor Henry will be singing the finale song in his sleep…

  4. Ok, I’m DEFINITELY looking into these Peepee Teepee things. You’re the second person now to tell me that they really work – and anything that stops the pee spray has to be a good thing…

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