A Note for 4th July

[Written earlier in the week, but forgot to post…]

Dear Americans,

On this, your special fireworky celebration day, I would like to take the opportunity to thank you personally for this:

…the peachiest-smelling substance I’ve ever had in my house. Or in my whole life, in fact.

It is peachier than a baby’s bottom. It is peachier than being covered in peach juice and rolled down a cobbled street where the cobbles are made of peaches. It is like washing your hands with essence of Roald Dahl.

I find myself making excuses to have clean hands these days. Luckily, I use the loo quite a bit more than I used to.

I hope you’re proud of your peach bellini masterpiece, dear Americans. I don’t wish to trivialise your many illustrious achievements, but I think this may be the best thing you’ve ever invented. And I say that in full awareness of the Oreo cookie. I know.

Happy 4th July to you!


PS: What’s a bellini?

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